"Its been awhile"

I haven't really written here in awhile, and for the one or two people that come here, well, it is what it is. I moved away from where i lived before and have since tried to start over. I isn't easy to but I am doing better than before. I had gotten to the point where i really had given up. I still flirt with the idea from time to time but I'm a lot more shall we say "stable".

I have decided to try to write here more often. See, I'm trying to write for a living but that's not really working. Mostly because I'm lazy. I write, but i don't really work as hard as i should or could. I am so used to sitting around and waiting for the next hustle so i can get high, which by the way used to be on heroin, then i started fucking that "bath salts" shit, that I find it really hard to force myself to do shit that is productive.

I haven't used anything except weed in awhile, but I struggle with the frame of mind and the thought process every day. I'm 41 and I've gotten high since i was about 7 years old. In fact I haven't been sober for more than a few months ever. I know some of you might read this and think "Why would anyone put this shit on the web where everyone can read it?" Well, its because I really don't give a fuck anymore. See, the way i figure it, if you're the type of person whom would be so shallow and pristine that this offends you, or makes you think that you are any better than I am just because you haven't done, or been through some of the shit I have, then you mean absolutely nothing to me anyway, so fuck you. And if even one other person reads this and thinks "Yeah, I know how this guy feels" then I'm cool with that.

So, I won't be promoting this to anyone or on any websites, but if you want to, go ahead. I will be on here at least once a week to drop some lines and keep this thing going till i get a real job.

Peace.